Author’s note:

This post first appeared back in don’t pry’s hay day, March of last year. However it caused such a stir it had to be removed from the site and I was forced into hiding. The site was bombarded with comments, potentially from the Bolivian government, and the Chief was being harassed daily by the Melendez family and their lawyers, so much so that he complied with the threats and removed it from the site. It remained on a secret floppy disk that I stuck behind my old gym locker with chewing gum. I recovered the disk last month, one year ago to the date it was hidden. I am reposting it in its entirety and hoping that all the commotion has settled.

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Isla Ometepe: Nicaragua.

I have been gone for a month now, or maybe more.  I can´t seem to remember.  When I woke up on the overnight bus I was back in Panama in a small village outside of Bocas del Toro.  Since then I have met up with a Shaman named Eduardo Josë Ramirez, but whom everyone refers to as Goatman.  Goatman is a spiritual advisers and leads people on trips on San Pedro (similar to Peyote) and has taken me under his wing, dosing me daily on different hallucinagenitcs and helping me to see the spiritual side of the universe.  Since then the days have blurred together to a dream like world where time no longer exists.  We have ¨borrowed¨ a wealthy clients boat and drove it to Isla Ometepe and are here to find the spirit of this ancient island.

(Goatman explaining the difference between peyote and san pedro)

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No Idea, Central America:

The shit has finaly hit the fan and I have no idea where I am.  I woke up this morning on an empty bus in a terminal at around 5 am.  My last memory is being in Puerto Viejo and drinking this drink they have her called Guari at a bar with some locals.  That was around 6 in the evening.  It is now 6 am and I can’t find anyone who speaks English here or even Spanish.  I do have with me my passport and bank card, but no luggage.  I am still cheked into a hostel in Puerto Viejo but I have the feeling I was at leaste six hours on a bus, completly passed out.  I have a card in my pocket with a name and a phone number that I am going to call and try to piece together what happened.  Victoria, is the name on the card and it rings a distant bell in some faded memory from last night. All of my belongings should be tin P.V. and I need to find my way back there.  Or do I?  Maybe I was drugged. I think I am in Belize.  I can see the ocean from the internet cafe.  Maybe I am still in Costa Rica, but it dosen’t seem that way.  Anyway, off I go to collect my thoughts and figure out wtf happened.

Two unfortunate things happened; 1) I lost a toe nail walking home one night as I caught it just right on some coral, 2) I drank some bad water or as its called in Costa Rica…..Mexican Water.  Nevertheless its pretty dam painful to wear shoes…..but the locals tell me it will grow back…..right? Continue Reading »

I think my Guardian Angel was looking out for me because it could have been real bad. Some divine intervention was necessary because I escaped with only minor injuries.

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Panama City, Panama:

So much to write, so little time…Panama is a strange place, where rules and laws don’t really apry.  They become blurred and distorted.  I found myself on Monday night coming into the city with nothing.  It was 95 degrees and humid as a wet mop.  I was sweating and I had a bad rash.  I met a couple from Dallas who told me a story that made me laugh away the pain.  So many stories to pry, so little time, but this one is worth it.
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Las Manos, Honduras:

Diego Abdulas Ramirez the III a.k.a “The White Whale,” was arrested on Wednesday afternoon in a small but well known whore house near Las Manos, Honduras, just over the Nicaraguan boarder.  C.I.A. members where able to locate The Whale after receiving a tip on his whereabouts from Denise Yetman, a Brocton Public school teacher and former wife, The Boston Herald reported earlier in the week.  The Whale became infamous in Boston  in the late 60’s and early 70’s for his connection with “Boston” George Jung and his control over the cocaine and marijuana flow into the Boston area during the 70’s and 80’s. That and his insaitiable appetite for fatty foods and burger joints which led him to be banned from several “all you can eat” buffets in the greater Boston area, including The Rainbow Buffet in Watertown and China Dynasty at Downtown Crossing.  The Whale, who is now almost 70 years old, will most likely spend the rest of his life in jail after he is arraigned later this week at Dedham District Court.

(File Photo of the White Whale, somewhere in Mexico cerca 1998)

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Panama City, Panama

Violence and bloodshed occured again today in the streets of Panama City, right where this humble pryer plans to land in less then six weeks.  Angry construction workers and disgruntled teachers joined the protests and burned effigies of President Martin Torrijos, promising “sticks, stones and molotovs” if the reform proposals became law. 

Molotovs…  Molotov Cocktail?  Sounds like a tasty adult beverage served best on the rocks and not burning someone’s face off.  What is a Molotov Cocktail and where did this word come from.  I shall pry.  (And I might just make one of my own for Thanksgiving)

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