Apr 30 2009
Canseco to Try His Luck in the Ring…Again?
Jose Canseco used his mammoth muscles to take pitchers deep and trade blows with Danny Bonaduce. Now the former MVP will step onto the mat and try Mixed Martial Arts.
Archive for April, 2009
Apr 29 2009
The Legend of the Chupamuchacho (re-post)
Author’s note:
This post first appeared back in don’t pry’s hay day, March of last year. However it caused such a stir it had to be removed from the site and I was forced into hiding. The site was bombarded with comments, potentially from the Bolivian government, and the Chief was being harassed daily by the Melendez family and their lawyers, so much so that he complied with the threats and removed it from the site. It remained on a secret floppy disk that I stuck behind my old gym locker with chewing gum. I recovered the disk last month, one year ago to the date it was hidden. I am reposting it in its entirety and hoping that all the commotion has settled.
Apr 28 2009
US Gov’t Questions Wilbur
In an effort to address US citizens concerns about the current pandemic known as “Swine Flu” the FBI has taken Wilbur, the pig from Charlotte’s Web, into custody. Apparently he was apprehended while celebrating his 10th birthday in Cancun, Mexico where some officials believe the problem originated.
Apr 27 2009
But What About My Tailored Suits?
“Oh wow. Jesus, like any poor citizen; (I) pay my bills. Go out and tear the town apart. I mean if we can’t eat, let’s fuck the place tonight–dump her in the ocean. Let’s. We deserve something; this is crazy.”
-Charles Olson when asked What do you spend your money on? -
Apr 24 2009
A Sigma Chi Can…Cause he mixes it with love!!!
APRIL 22–A Nebraska college has suspended a fraternity after pledges told police how they were abused in hazing rituals, one of which allegedly included an 18-year-old student being sexually assaulted by a vibrator-wielding stripper.
Apr 13 2009
Obama’s New Advisor on Foreign Policy
WWE Headquarters: With only a few days remaining before the Nature Boy gets in the ring with Vince McMahon for Wrestle Mania 25, the US government decided to take his advice and lift some sanctions against Cuba. In a measured break with a half-century of U.S. policy toward communist Cuba, President Obama lifted restrictions on Cuban-Americans who want to travel and send money to their island homeland.
Apr 11 2009
Steal Your Face!
Boston, Ma: Yesterday afternoon a team of plastic surgery at Brigham and Women’s Hospital carried out a face transplant. This is the first full face transplant ever performed in the United States.
The seven plastic surgeons, as well as an ENT (ear, nose and throat) surgeon, along with nurses, anesthesiologists and residents spent 17 long hours replacing the mid-face area of a patient, who was born a “Faceless Wonder“ according to head doctor B. Pomolac. The patient’s hard palate, nose, facial skin, muscles for facial animation, upper lip, and nose were all replaced with those of an anonymous donor. The donor is quoted as saying, “That is like I told you, that is what I said. Steal my face right off my head,” before he passed away in the early morning hours of April 10 after a drug induced firearm accident in Ware, Massachusetts.
Apr 09 2009
No, no, no SERIOUSLY???
From: Baron Von Cateyes <RKelly_Messiah@gmail.com>
Subject: So…
To: “Seamus Oceide” <DontEverPryEverEverBroDawgseriously@yahoo.com>, “John-Paul Workman” <lovemyapricotvagina@wvdnr.gov>
Date: Sunday, April 5, 2009, 9:40 AM